when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
