Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
