So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
