its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
