i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize