420 ftw
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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