Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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