Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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