More tranny stories later!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
