i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
