I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize