Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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