i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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