Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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