Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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