Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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