omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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