Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
