the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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