new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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