I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize