I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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