for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
