...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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