Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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