I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
