I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
