I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
