they need to just BURY HIM!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
