I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
