Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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