We're facebook friends in real life
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
