i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
