y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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