Ambien. No doubt about it.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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