I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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