nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
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Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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