Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
