I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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