I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
