i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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