There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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