That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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