You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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