That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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