I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
