Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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