tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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