my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she looked like the before picture.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
These tits shall not be calmed
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
