We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
