i think my tv is drunk
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
