marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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