I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
