i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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